Myself and my partner Claudio desperately want the Marriage Equality Referendum on May 22nd to pass allowing us to have a civil marriage in Ireland. There are lots of reason why including:
- Our relationship would have equal status under the constitution, the same as my parent’s and siblings’ has, and yours has if you are married. Civil partnership was introduced for gay and lesbian couples because we are barred from getting married and therefore our relationship has a lower legal status than a couple who are married.
- We would be seen as a family in Ireland for the first time. Currently we are not recognised in law as a family. A married woman and man with or without children are seen as a family in Irish law but we are not.
Both of these are enormously important as it means we would be treated equally as citizens and as a couple under the Irish constitution if the referendum passes. While we have a civil partnership, we are not recognised as a family and we don’t have the same legal protection as a married man and woman.
But a YES vote is about something much more profound and core to who we are as individuals and as a couple. It is about gay people being seen as equal to straight people in Ireland. It is about our love for each other being seen as equal to the love a man and a woman can have for each other. We grew up in different countries but we both got the same constant barrage of negative messages about what it meant to be gay and that because we’re gay we couldn’t have a happy life and settle down in a loving lasting relationship. These messages were completely wrong! We met in 2009 and fell in love and have been together since and want to spend the rest of our lives together. It’s a common ordinary story but when it happens to you it feels extraordinary.
Our relationship is about sharing the good and the bad times together; companionship and mutual respect; laughing and crying together during life’s ups and down; hoping the best for each other; sharing our lives with our family and friends and colleagues; and getting to know each other more and more every day and deepening our bond. It’s about our love for and commitment to each other. That’s what our relationship is. That’s what our family is. That’s what our life is. There is no reason for us not to have the same legal constitutional protection as a married woman and man or for us not to be recognised in law as a family.
If you are voting YES thank you and if not I accept that as I feel I’ve done all I can to convince you otherwise. For those voting yes please talk to your parents, your siblings, your friends, your extended family, your colleagues, your taxi driver, anyone! Tell them why you are voting yes. Share our story and explain why a YES vote is so important to the thousands of gay and lesbian couples around Ireland like us. Tell them why it’s also for the good of Irish society so that kids born into families in every town and village all over Ireland will know (and their parents will know) that whether you are gay or straight you can have the same hopes and dreams for your life including the wish to grow up, fall in love and get married to the one you love. It is simple and yet so profound.
It means the world to myself and Claudio and to so many many many more people you do and don’t know. Please help us get a YES result by doing what you can. Why not share this on Facebook or tweet a link on Twitter – it might be a good start but talking to people about why you are voting YES is crucial. Hopefully on May 23rd when the result of the Marriage Equality referendum is announced it will be an historic day for Ireland and for couples like myself and Claudio. Here’s hoping!
© Odhrán Allen 2015
@odhranallen 