This World Mental Health Day I am speaking from personal experience having been unwell with depression for the last few months. 1 in 4 of us will experience a mental illness during our lives and 4 out of 4 of us will experience mental health difficulties because of stress, exhaustion and isolation. This is a fact of life and part of being human.
The most important thing I have learned as I recover is how good people can be. I have received so much love, support, kindness and understanding from many people which I appreciate deeply and I’m so grateful for. It helped me through the darkest days and helped me see the light again.
I never thought I would go through what the last few months has brought but it is true that ANYONE can experience depression. It is horrendous but you can recover and get back to living life fully. You don’t think it will happen to you but if it does please talk to people and let them know that you are struggling. There is relief to be found in letting others know how you feel even though it is scary to open up. You’ll be surprised how much people care and their ability to be there when you feel so bad and so afraid and so lost. Even if you just open up to one person it will help you and your GP can advise you on what treatment is available to help you start to recover.
If you know someone who is depressed and you’re not sure what to say or do to help, just letting them know you care and are there for them will be enormously helpful. Send the odd text and if they don’t reply it won’t mean they don’t appreciate it. That text could make a big difference to their day.
You can also encourage them to open up and talk about their inner storms but be prepared and willing to listen to some very negative and bleak stuff. You don’t have to agree with what you hear but it’s best to say “this is you when you’re depressed” rather than endlessly challenging the person’s depressed thoughts and feelings.
I found it enormously reassuring when my husband and friends would say “you’re going to get better” even when I didn’t believe it. They held onto the hope of recovery when I lost sight of this most likely reality.
I decided to be open from the start about being depressed. There’s nothing to be ashamed of and it’s time the stigma surrounding mental health problems become a thing of the past. We are all human and we can all get sick at times. Depression is an illness just like cancer or heart disease. Whatever the causes, when you’re depressed you’re not well and you need treatment, lots of support and time to heal.
And if by any chance you are reading this and are struggling and don’t feel able to open up to anyone in your life, there are lots of helplines and services you can call/email/visit who will give you emotional support and somewhere you can talk things through in total confidence. You could start by calling the Samaritans for free on 116 123, Aware depression support on 1890 303 302 or the LGBT Helpline on 1890 929 539
© Odhrán Allen 2014
@odhranallen 